Loss of Contact

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 22:12:01 -0500

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

- Psalm 56:3

No Fear

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 22:11:13 -0500

I don’t know if there is a more powerful moment in a person’s life than to wake up and suddenly realize what is at the heart of everything that holds you back. To finally see through the web of self-obfuscation and lies, and to understand, or at least begin to understand, that all those things you wish you could change, have tried to change, are connected. For me, the heart of everything that holds me back is fear. Fear has caused in me uncertainty, worry, a desire to flee the situations I am in, avoidance, procrastination, an intense desire to be accepted by others, and addiction. Every single one of these things contains yet more things, until a full list fills up the written page and makes me mourn for all the time and living I have lost by living in fear.

I do not know where the road will lead today, or tomorrow, or a year from now. But I know that today is the first day for something new. A day of freedom, I think. Because I know that I do not have to be afraid for even one more day. God, thank You for giving me the freedom and strength to live free from fear. I will trust in You.

The silence of the moment

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 00:56:43 -0500

In the silence of this moment I am reminded that what matters is not how much work is done tomorrow, how tired I am or what people think. What matters is bigger than all of that, yet so elusive it is always just slipping through our fingers. To grasp it, for just a moment, is to know joy. And to remember it.

Six to twelve

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:56:21 -0600

When you read that title, what’s the first thing you think of? Maybe that it’s almost lunchtime, or how long that neighbor who keeps you up nights should be in prison. It could be the recommended ages for a board game, or how many pounds you should lose on that new diet. Three words and two numbers that can mean anything at all. For me, they are the number of months my mother has to live if her cancer treatment is unsuccessful, and I don’t know what to do.

Audio from my interview with a local NPR station.

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:15:05 -0500

Audio from my interview with a local NPR station.

Thursday morning

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:29:49 -0500

It is a March,
Thursday morning;
my heart feels alive,
floating, like the pollen
on the wind.

I wonder what
life will be like
in a year, or more:
and then I recall
the secret

that was hidden,
but is no more:
life is what we
make of it, not
what we wait for

it to be.

With thanks to N.

"Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts."

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 17:58:48 -0600

“Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts.”

- Robert Fulghum

Expectation

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:07:02 -0600

It seems an inescapable fact of my life that, whenever I want something the most, it is both a. an inappropriate time to be wanting said thing the most and b. certain that, no matter what it is, I’m not getting it.

I’m pretty sure that “a” is foundational to the human condition. But “b”. It makes me wonder. Am I doing something wrong? What is it that I’m missing? I’d sure like to know.

This is a video slideshow made for The Grandpa’s 80th...

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:05:00 -0500

This is a video slideshow made for The Grandpa’s 80th birthday. There are some truly awesome photos of yours truly within.

I’m accepting guesses as to what this is all about. :)

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 22:40:27 -0500

I’m accepting guesses as to what this is all about. :)

So I’m scanning lots of old photos, and found this one of...

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:38:20 -0500

So I’m scanning lots of old photos, and found this one of my aunt and uncle and cousins. Aside from my uncle’s awesome hair, note my clearly murderous intent.

Just in case the immediately previous post made no sense...

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 12:06:15 -0500

Just in case the immediately previous post made no sense...

Sadness.

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 12:01:07 -0500

Sadness.

What to do, what to do

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:26:23 -0500

So, I was at church a couple of weeks ago, and the time came for the meet and greet. As most of you are probably aware, in most Protestant churches there’s a short period in between the music and the sermon during which everyone says hello to those around them, often shaking hands. This was my first time at this church, so I did my best to say hello to everyone around me, and, of course, shake hands. I said hello to everyone nearby to the front and sides, and turned around to shake hands with whoever was behind me. This is when I encountered trouble.

The woman behind me was fairly attractive, so initially I didn’t notice that something was rather different about her. I did notice, however, when I reached out to shake her hand. She kind of looked at me like I was from outer space; that is when my brain finely comprehended what was different about her: she had no arms.

My feeble mind did not take this well; I had no idea what to do from there so I mumbled a quick “hello” and turned around. I felt bad, but in retrospect have to wonder: what’s the appropriate greeting?

Comments, yay!

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:50:12 -0500

You can comment now, if you want. Go ahead. Do it.

Stuff people like

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 21:35:56 -0500

I found two blogs today I’m rather fond of. One should make sense to you regardless of your background; the other is more like a really long series of inside jokes. :)

Stuff White People Like

and

Stuff Christians Like

Overheard at CVS

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:38:00 -0500

Customer 1: Is it hot, or is it just me?
Middle-aged cashier: Oh yes. I've been overheated all day.
Customer 1: Yeah, its really hot outside.
Middle-aged cashier: Thank God! I thought I was going through the Change!

Middle-aged cashier: *Old cashier with gender-inappropriate mustache* is off this weekend. We going to see you Monday?
Old cashier with with gender-inappropriate mustache: *in tones that indicate she may not survive another weekend* If I'm lucky.

The toy soldiers in the closet are for kids who visit. I swear.

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:40:16 -0500

I spent the better part of today driving around a truck with assorted flashing caution lights on it, hammering signs into the ground with a small sledgehammer. What does it say about me that that was the highlight of my week?

Tornado

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:18:00 -0500

So. I’ve never really lived in a place that was subject to tornadoes, so much. So when I moved here I bought a weather radio. Last night the radio went off at least 4 times with tornado warnings. For those who might be unfamiliar, a tornado warning means one or more tornadoes have actually been spotted. My weather radio is particularly fancy and only goes off when a warning applies to the county I live in, so last night was a bit of a tornado festivus.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a basement. In the absence of one you’re supposed to be in an interior room. My only interior rooms with no windows are the bathrooms. I think you can see where this is going. With actual tornadoes out there, I wasn’t about to just go to sleep on my bed, right next to an enormous window. But I had to sleep. So, after putting my cats in their carriers in one bathroom, I put a bunch of blankets and pillows in the tub, and tried to sleep.

Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work out so well. After the last tornado warning expired, I got in a real bed, and thankfully dreamed of disasters that do not require sleeping in tubs.

The female mind. sigh

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 21:28:48 -0500

Me: So when was your last date?
Girl: A long time...like over year.
Me: So what constitutes a date?
Girl: You know...going out, the guy pays for everything.
Me: Haven't I paid almost every time we've gone out the last few months?
Girl: Yes.
Me: So is this a date?
Girl: I don't know. Are you paying?

Loss of Contact

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."

No Fear

The silence of the moment

Six to twelve

Audio from my interview with a local NPR station.

Thursday morning

"Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts."

Expectation

This is a video slideshow made for The Grandpa’s 80th...

I’m accepting guesses as to what this is all about. :)

So I’m scanning lots of old photos, and found this one of...

Just in case the immediately previous post made no sense...

Sadness.

What to do, what to do

Comments, yay!

Stuff people like

Overheard at CVS

The toy soldiers in the closet are for kids who visit. I swear.

Tornado

The female mind. *sigh*

The female mind. sigh